Feeling enervated, like you are fading away into the void? Keep noticing strangely anachronistic elements in your sensorium? Sure that you used to know something important, which you have now forgotten? Worried that perhaps you and everyone you know might already be dead?
No need for concern – we have ample supplies of Ubik here ready to ship to you, regardless of which universe you suppose you are in.
By making use of the most advanced techniques of modern science, the reversion of matter to earlier forms can be desrever, and at a price anyone can afford.
This is the new and improved recipe Ubik, packaged complete with a handy roller-ball applicator. It represents a leap forward in reality control technology when compared with the old style salve or elixir. No need to mix any messy coal tar and powder, but still the same beneficent aid to mankind when sedulously employed as indicated.
Store upright. Shake well before use. For existential use only.